How to Love Difficult People

Main Thought

It can be hard to love others. It can be especially difficult to love “difficult people,” whether it be because of their personalities, differing beliefs, the things they’ve done to hurt us, or more. Yet the second-greatest commandment still applies: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” So how are we supposed to love difficult people? We can begin by looking inward. Our own moods, perspectives, biases, or even sin can get in the way of our ability to love others. Then, we can make the difficult choice to extend outward. To forgive and love begins with a choice to desire good for others, rather than harm. This decision may help us see the hurt in the other person’s life. Ultimately, our ability to love difficult people finds unmatched strength and inspiration when we look upward. God loved us when we were “difficult people.” Experiencing God’s love makes it possible to extend God’s love.

Main Passages

6 The Lord passed before him and proclaimed, “The Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, 7 keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children's children, to the third and the fourth generation.”

- Exodus 34:6-7

2 For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. 3 Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?

- Matthew 7:2-3

31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

- Ephesians 4:31-32

Discussion Questions

  1. What stands out to you in the Main Thought or Passages above?

  2. The Word of God (and Pastor Roland’s sermon) exhort us to look inward toward things that may hinder our ability to love, and to extend outward with a choice to love. Which of those two things do you find more difficult? Why?

  3. Is there a difficult person in your life or sphere of influence that God may be calling you to extend love to? How might that look?